I would like to say a few things about forgiveness, because the mercy we practice in family life takes many forms. We encourage, we support, we carry one another. But the most necessary form of support is the ability to forgive.
It’s not always easy to forgive, but it is necessary. If there is no forgiveness in a couple’s relationship, if there is no forgiveness among family members, problems start to multiply. Sufferings of all kinds develop and create walls that separate us from each other. On the other hand, if day after day we forgive, ordinary relations remain possible and love can always be reborn. Forgiveness is not always easy; it is one of the most unselfish acts of love. Forgiveness can also be one of the greatest acts of freedom – the freedom to love even the one who has done you wrong.
When it is hard to forgive, this is a grace we must ask for. Sometimes our human strength is not enough and we must ask God in humility and prayer. Sometimes it takes time to receive this grace, and this is normal. When we’re very deeply wounded, receiving this grace can take time and a lot of prayer. When we have the grace to forgive, all the bad things disappear. Love and communion are reborn.
It is difficult to say, “I forgive you.” It is easier to forgive the way Jesus does. When Jesus forgave his enemies on the cross, he turned to the Father and said, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
When we find it too hard to say, “I forgive you,” we too must turn to the Father, because in the end only God can really forgive. We have to turn to the Father and say those words of Jesus, “Father, forgive him – or forgive her — because he (or she) doesn’t know what he (or she) is doing.”
It’s true that, most of the time, man doesn’t know the evil he is committing. He doesn’t really realize the extent of it. To forgive, we have to go through the heart of the Father. This is the source of forgiveness. It is not in me; it’s the heart of God, and that’s where I have to go looking for forgiveness.
Forgiveness in Family Life, by Fr. Jacques Philippe, in “Real Mercy”
Also see “Finding Forgiveness Through the Magnificence of Mercy – A Homily for the 24th Sunday of the Year” by Msgr. Charles Pope:
The Gospel this Sunday draws us into a remarkably sensitive area of the faith, that of forgiving others who may have harmed us. There are many who been authentically hurt and others who fear that in offering forgiveness they will become vulnerable to further harm. Forgiveness is something we experience as a very personal call; in some cases, it may be the most challenging thing we are ever asked to do.
I have titled this Homily carefully; if we read the parable closely we will come to understand that mercy and forgiveness are not something we do out of our own flesh. Rather, they are capacities we must find within ourselves. As the remarkable reality of God’s incredible mercy for us dawns upon us, our hearts are moved. Suddenly we don’t hate anyone and forgiveness flows from our broken, humbled hearts. This is a gift that the Lord offers us.